Ever feel like your partner doesn’t pay attention to you? Do you think that he is much more concentrated on any other possible project but you? Even more, does it all seem like a big change from the beginning of your relationship when he was showering you with attention and you were the center of his world?
Perhaps there is no need for you to feel abandoned and resentful. Perhaps your partner hasn’t suddenly changed his feelings towards you, but he is actually suffering from the Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).
What is ADHD?
ADHD/ADD is one of the most common learning disorders that develops in childhood. Most common signs of it, among others, are loss of attention, difficulty to focus and follow instructions, disorganization.
Per statistics, provided by World Mental health Surveys, the number of ADHD in adults worldwide is 2.8%. However, it is hard to say the exact percentage as many cases can go undetected or unreported for years. To put it into perspective, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, the reported number in the US was 4.4%, however, the estimated prevalence in the US adults was 8.1%.
ADHD in adulthood
Even though ADHD starts in childhood, it can prevail and even become stronger in adulthood. Needless to say, it can have a major effect on a person’s professional career, social life and relationships, especially if it hasn’t been diagnosed.
If you are now wondering whether your partner, boyfriend or date has ADHD, the easiest way to find out is to ask. Often people are hesitant to share this personal information due to social stigma that’s been created around learning difficulties.
Those who suffer from learning disorders are often considered to be underperformers at school, which in turn contributes to low self-esteem. It is consequential that they later in life try to disguise it, especially in their professional environment. However, when it comes to relationships, everything should be an open book.
How to know if he has it?
In another scenario, your partner may not be aware that he in fact has this disorder. If you feel like your partner is very easily distracted, he changes topics and subjects all the time, he struggles to finish a conversation, perhaps even seems like lacking empathy, he possibly has ADHD.
Furthermore, one of the most common behavior for a person with ADHD when starting a relationship, is to place a hyper focus on you. However, once that phase passes, he starts to focus on million other things and you no longer enjoy his undivided attention.
How to act?
Having said that, it’s easy to understand that you feel hurt and puzzled about what happened. You may think that he lost interest in you when in fact he didn’t. Such misunderstandings contribute to a lot of issues, emotional breakdowns and even break ups not only in early stage relationships but also in marriages.
Nevertheless, once identified, ADHD can be treated and dealt with. Most importantly, many confusions and misinterpretations can be explained and your relationship – saved.
You may never truly understand how your partner feels and thinks, but you can understand that he thinks and feels in a different way. Once you know that, you and your partner can adjust and handle those problems.
So be aware of those symptoms and if they are present in your relationship, don’t give up on it but try to work them out!
Have you ever had a similar experience? Write in the comments or share your story with us!
