In the globalized world we live, moving countries has become a standard for many of us.
However, moving countries for your work or pleasure is one thing, moving for another person – is a different story.
It’s enough for your partner to get an amazing job offer in a land far far away, and relocation is on the table.
However, what does that mean for you and your relationship? You don’t want to stop your partner from advancing his carrier, or simply from moving where he truly wants to be.
On the other hand, you are not certain if you could follow him, but at the end, you know that you want to stay together and long-distance relationship is simply not good enough.
Before you make that important and difficult move to another country for your partner, or even if you have done it already, you should be aware of a few things that could make your life easier or less frustrating in a new country.
Financial stability
Once you decide to relocate with your partner, be sure to discuss your finances. It’s very possible and almost certain, that at the beginning you won’t have a job. So, ask yourself this: are you prepared to spend your savings for your new life? Do you have enough savings to spend for this new beginning? Would your partner be supporting you? For how long would that be ok?
After you have this little talk with yourself, go to your partner and start this conversation. It is, at the end, something that we may not think of, but once you stop earning an income, you will find yourself to be vulnerable and dependable. It may put a lot of pressure on your relationship and cause numerous fights and frustrations with your partner. Don’t wait until you are in that situation, talk about it before you move countries or as soon as possible.
Papers
If you are moving inside the country, this doesn’t apply. However, if you are moving countries, be aware of the frustrations and implications that bureaucracy may cause for your new life.
In many cases, your partner will be a national of the country you’re relocating to, or will have a visa. You, on the other hand, may have more difficulty to obtain necessary papers. Once again, you may find yourself dependent on your partner for visa and work permit.
In order to avoid or minimize your frustrations when you find out about the visa application and process, do your research and do it thoroughly. Check what legal possibilities and scenarios you have in the country of destination, how long the process may take and what you should expect.
Nowadays, we are used to the easiness of travelling, and we simply find ourselves unaware of the whole bureaucratic mess we have to go through. Once again, it may cause a lot of frustration and anxiety when you already feel vulnerable and dependable on your partner. So, do you research, check your options, be prepared and don’t let those bureaucrats put you down in case you find yourself in complicated situation. Everything is solvable, believe me.
Language barrier
Even though we can get around with English seemingly anywhere in the world, for you to really adapt or even find a job, you will need to acquire at least some local language skills.
Also, if you are moving to your partners native land, be aware of the fact that your family-in-law and your partner’s friends will be speaking different language. As much as they may try to make you feel at home and speak to you in a language you understand, this “welcoming” phase will end at some point, and very often you will find yourself surrounded by a bunch of people having a great time, chatting in their language and you will feel left out.
Be aware of it and prepare that sometimes you will be left out and will not participate in a conversation. Don’t let this bring you down, though. If you do want to learn the local language, be aware that it takes a lot of time and effort. Also, it’s very important that your partner understands it and you both set the expectations realistically.
Cultural shock
People are different everywhere, we know that. However, we are still allowed to be shocked by different people, customs and ways of life.
Once we move and have all the aforementioned problems, we do not want to feel even in a deeper whole because of some random rude or unfriendly people from your new city’s streets. It’s very often impossible to really know whether you will like and be able to adapt to the new culture. However, be aware of differences and prepared to experience some shocking moments, unacceptable behavior and annoying, hard or tough people.
It could be anything from people to food that will cause a cultural shock for you. Nonetheless, in most cases after the initial shock is gone, you will start understanding the local culture and adapting to it. Very often you won’t even notice when this will happen but be certain – it will.
Meanwhile, if you are having a really tough time, you can always find other internationals or your nationals to mingle and share your happy moment and frustrations.
Social life
Moving countries not only means you’re starting a new life, new job, new language. Also, you are leaving your family, friends and your whole social circle behind.
Depending on your personality, you may be able to create a new social life easily, but even if you are the friendliest person in the world, it may still be quite difficult to start. It could depend on language barrier, cultural differences, even on your state of mind.
However, there are some simple ways to quickly make new friends. As mentioned above, hanging out with other expats is a great way to socialize. Not only you will find new friends, but you may also get good advise on how to adapt in new city, sort out you visa problems or find a job. Other foreigners will easily relate to your situation and will want to show support. You will easily find expat club or their groups on FB or other social media.
Another good way to socialize is attending a language school. Once again, you will be exposed to expats that are in similar situation. Try to find a good school that offer a lot of social activities. In case you’re are not working, consider doing an intensive language course. At the end of the course, your group might become your new best friends.
If you want to make more of an effort to make friends with locals, try to find a sports or dance club, volunteering or local chapter of an organization you used to belong, such as Rotary. Basically, if you had a hobby in your country, continue that in your new city. It’s a wonderful way to not only socialize but do something that you love.
As you see, there may be some challenges ahead, but if you discuss them openly with your partner and if your relationship is strong enough, you will find solutions. You are not taking this step on your own, so to have smooth walk, make sure you’re walking hand in hand.
If you had a similar experience and would like to share your story, please write to us or leave a comment below!
